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Monday, November 16, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
Came back from camp and home is whr i DONT WISH TO BELONG. its not fair at all, during my o levels i have to take care of home stuff and cant really study. nvm i can study fast. now after my o lvl, i cnat play computer i cant go to work i cant study.!!! WHAT AM I TO DO!!! i just fucking wish u will fuck off from my life, anyway i know u are going to die soon , so it makes me happier cause i know i will inherit all ur fortune after U DIE!!!
time and time again, never once has he EVER listen to me, do u know what i like, do u know what i like doing, wat i hate, what i like to eat, what things i want, which gundma i like most, whats my dream, whats my goals! DO U EVEN FUCKING KNOW UR OWN SON'S BIRTHDAY?! U DONT KNOW ANYTHING, U ARE CLEARLY BIAS! u know and treat him well and treat me like a maid, and when i talk back u slap, when he talk back u keep ur fucking mouth SHUT!!! SO FUCKING IRRITATED!
now to some happy things, found out that i will be going to vip soon with a small group of ppl. tmr going to clean my room, clear out everything BURN ALL THE THINGS RELATED TO U! oh i forgot i already did. someone pls help me in my misery, now im just a tool in life.
time and time again, never once has he EVER listen to me, do u know what i like, do u know what i like doing, wat i hate, what i like to eat, what things i want, which gundma i like most, whats my dream, whats my goals! DO U EVEN FUCKING KNOW UR OWN SON'S BIRTHDAY?! U DONT KNOW ANYTHING, U ARE CLEARLY BIAS! u know and treat him well and treat me like a maid, and when i talk back u slap, when he talk back u keep ur fucking mouth SHUT!!! SO FUCKING IRRITATED!
now to some happy things, found out that i will be going to vip soon with a small group of ppl. tmr going to clean my room, clear out everything BURN ALL THE THINGS RELATED TO U! oh i forgot i already did. someone pls help me in my misery, now im just a tool in life.
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Thursday, November 12, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
ahh, whole body aching... must be the muscles not used to active contractions .. haha today went to iluma to watch movie and play lan. watched 2012!!! it was FAN-TASTIC!!! it was simply awsome cause the special effect and i feel its really coming true and as such i really need to fast forward my plan. maybe some say im naive but i believe in extraterrestrial . the earth completely teared up and USA is VERY GOOD at keeping secrets, face it 2012 is really coming true only that we do not know when the us will take action and kudos to the film director of showing the presidents of states as a loyal figure who will not leave their sinking ship.
next up will be long after all is over, cunting down the hours to U MY first!
next up will be long after all is over, cunting down the hours to U MY first!
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Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
ahh! finally the end of my olvls and as such operation head shot has commenced its dead line.. ahh i find it very funny. when its school time i feel the holidays are not coming any nearer. oh god pls have mercy on my brain.. now exams and school ended, im left with the feeling of emptyness, missing all u friends , classmates and haters.
nvr hav i felt so attached to this world of mine.oh well, one has pass and another must enter. i really hope my o lvl can get good grades, i really hope for a 16points or below.
oh and one last thing before i signed off, code name BURN FREE has commenced and i really hope u guys will help me slim down and get fit. oh well, cant wait for VIP and my BELOVED redcrossyouth camp!! wahahahahaha. getting fit is all i want to be now, since i cant play com, or do anything.
new skin hope u guys likes it. next post will be on individual thoughts of the class.. copied this idea from MS QUEK WEITING!!! LMAO
oh well priority first now, fitness, work and happiness.
signing off , ur blade is yours! wuju style!!! LOL ROCKS!!!
fulajeh
nvr hav i felt so attached to this world of mine.oh well, one has pass and another must enter. i really hope my o lvl can get good grades, i really hope for a 16points or below.
wondering what my future should be? a doctor? a pilot? an airplane specialist? teacher? or a clean energy engineer? or maybe cook?! cant decide on which to be, but one thing is for sure, the future is yours to choose and not for others to decide for u... choose and follow through thats how things are done..
oh and one last thing before i signed off, code name BURN FREE has commenced and i really hope u guys will help me slim down and get fit. oh well, cant wait for VIP and my BELOVED redcrossyouth camp!! wahahahahaha. getting fit is all i want to be now, since i cant play com, or do anything.
new skin hope u guys likes it. next post will be on individual thoughts of the class.. copied this idea from MS QUEK WEITING!!! LMAO
oh well priority first now, fitness, work and happiness.
signing off , ur blade is yours! wuju style!!! LOL ROCKS!!!
fulajeh
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Saturday, September 26, 2009
Saturday, September 26, 2009
rule 1: trust nobody , not even yourself
-trust not even yourself because u are constantly making excuses about urself. im going to get an A1 for my maths! but do u get it ? NO!-trust nobody because in this world blades are flying everywhere even in a kindergarden , toddlers think of ways to get the other toddlers in to trouble.
rule 2: never let go of anything u hold on and cherish deeply
- if u know u cherish the item like anything in the world then u will know what to do
rule 3:bad is equals good
life is full of evil, evil is always more than good so if u feel down . use my technique channel all the negative comments to make u have the drive to do better
rule 4: never let others pull u down
no matter what or who we must never let other pull us down because it is our choice to make
rule 5: be yourself
never change to suit others: thats a mistake i made and with this i shall change back to my original personality
rule 6 onwards:the statement explains it all
rule 6: sucess comes from within the statement explains it all
rule 7: light always shine on the worst side of life
rule 8: never let the past grab u
rule 9: number those who are most important to u
rule 10: cast those unimportant to ur life
rule 11 : always listen to what others have to say before u do anything rule 12 : forgive but dont ever forget
rule 13: To Fight Is To Live (my favourate)
life is full of evil, evil is always more than good so if u feel down . use my technique channel all the negative comments to make u have the drive to do better
rule 4: never let others pull u down
no matter what or who we must never let other pull us down because it is our choice to make
rule 5: be yourself
never change to suit others: thats a mistake i made and with this i shall change back to my original personality
rule 6 onwards:the statement explains it all
rule 6: sucess comes from within the statement explains it all
rule 7: light always shine on the worst side of life
rule 8: never let the past grab u
rule 9: number those who are most important to u
rule 10: cast those unimportant to ur life
rule 11 : always listen to what others have to say before u do anything rule 12 : forgive but dont ever forget
rule 13: To Fight Is To Live (my favourate)
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part one'
its been quite some time since i had writen anything about myself of the world.
well , i really want to do well for my o levels but when ever i look at ur i feel the seven deadly sins kicking in:
1. Pride
2. Avarice (Greed)
3. Envy
4. Wrath
5. Lust
6. Gluttony
7. Sloth
2. Avarice (Greed)
3. Envy
4. Wrath
5. Lust
6. Gluttony
7. Sloth
pride: i feel that its because of my nature of being an arse hole that makes me so irritable and when that happens i can hear the comments and labels passed on to me
avarice: greed is what i do now, im greedy for anything and everything, seems to me im so greedy i dont put others infront of me like last time.
envy : i am jealous of u guys having fun and all the laughter, yes i joined a new group of friends but i dont really feel the closeness like before, im envy of ur joy, im envy of ur happiness, im envy about u because u are always welcome by others no matter what the fucking shit u do wrong to others.
wrath : i really want to vent my anger at others for the joy and happiness captured within my black heart.
lust: i wanna take everything away from u all, and keep it all to myself.this is my self-destructive drive for some pleasure regardless of it's value, merit, or legality
gluttony: whenever i see joy and im not in it , i feel envy and when im envy i want to vent it out but because of my weak self i always see myself stuffing up my face with all the food and making me grow fat again, i dont want to go back to 96 kg again , this time it will be undone!!!
sloth: im just lazy about my olvls even though its coming up soon, really hope someone close can give me the encouragement and the push!!!
the 7 sins commited by be, im really a failure
after the death of my grandma i promised never to cry but it seems it will when i get back my olvls result.
really want to post about my secondary school life , but it seems that whenever i post this things about myself others will say i self inflicted and i deserve it, y cant u look at me from another angle?
life is unfair for everyone, if u think u are targeted then move on and do not listen to their false claims, thanks liza for telling me what i should look out for .
2nd part of my post
i require some comments plss on my tag board. i've just been selected by my rcy mam, mdm sherry tan to koin the voluntary instructor programme, do u all think i should do it? i heard that red cross in jwss is getting from bad to worse, but i dont know what can i do so plss tell me.
can i get some encouragement or just a push from u guys. i just want u guys to say : SING ONN wake up , do ur work or u will never catch up to me , or sing onn u are such a failure cant even get a1 for anything , look at urself in the mirror and tell urself that no one likes u as their friend, or u are nothing without ur pride and envy. oh the joy of all those comments .
( 2nd rule to lee sing onn: every bad remark is a push to do well , every good comment is never good for all it does is make on slow)
going to post the 13 rule for me to survive and for all those who hate me plss comment me so i can do better...
studying has never been so dead, didnt study the whole day because parents were nagging like hell!!! oh the hell, i really need to study and exercise!!!
!!! ahh thats all for now untill we meet again
i may be changing blog skin because this skin is too child for me , comment from a some what girl life person
Adeus
can i get some encouragement or just a push from u guys. i just want u guys to say : SING ONN wake up , do ur work or u will never catch up to me , or sing onn u are such a failure cant even get a1 for anything , look at urself in the mirror and tell urself that no one likes u as their friend, or u are nothing without ur pride and envy. oh the joy of all those comments .
( 2nd rule to lee sing onn: every bad remark is a push to do well , every good comment is never good for all it does is make on slow)
going to post the 13 rule for me to survive and for all those who hate me plss comment me so i can do better...
studying has never been so dead, didnt study the whole day because parents were nagging like hell!!! oh the hell, i really need to study and exercise!!!
!!! ahh thats all for now untill we meet again
i may be changing blog skin because this skin is too child for me , comment from a some what girl life person
Adeus
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Friday, September 18, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
firstly i want to address to all those people who hate me, im sorry to most of u . i didn't know that i was actually hurting u so much but for those who know me well they will know im not always a bastard as always. for those who see that im always complaining about everything it is all because i have no one to turn to to face my problem , u may say im pathetic and deserve it but i dont really care. i have no life thats the main point so if anyone is able to change me , then u are the one whom i respect and will stand up to when i mature.
now now for the introduction of all times, im not actually writing an essay about my self but about my life journey and how hard or happy it is.
as what i said from my last post, im going to talk about my life from primary 3 onwards. but for today i will only talk about my primary school life, i next post then maybe will talk about my secondary school life.
when i was primary school i had lots of friends, good bad evil vunning all of sorts but there was one whom i always believe in and was very close to, his name is daniel loke , he was a person i could turn to when i had problems. he was good at chinese and during that time my chinese wasnt that bad, i all started to fail after a new teacher came to teach, i started to lose faith in my subject and let it slip backwards. i remember there was one day when i was punish by the teacher to go to another teacher's class and stand thr. that teacher told me off infront of the class!!!! i was so damn embarrased. when i started to fail it was okay at first because my brother tell me i have to fail before i can pass. i learned from that day that defeat is part and parcel of life and u have to live it happily, i wasnt this slim
primary 4, i grew fatter and fatter by day because of all the failures i made, 93 was the heaviest weight i ever had. life was hard being fat and all. from that day ir ealise since i have so much failures why dont i make the failures be my motivation and that was how my attitude of not falling back works.
primary 5, i found my BEST-EST OF BEST FRIEND!!!! my chow, klinton chow i my best friend we went through troubled times and quarrelled and fought. we were like brothers , i knew his parents his parents knew me , i felt like i have another sibling. primary 5 was the best time of my primary school life, i have so many friends and we were all very close to one another.
primary 6 was the hell year of my life , but i enjoyed it because i could finally make it in to the express stream because of her, my strictest teacher mdm sajini, she appeared on the news 3 times !!!! she help me get from a 156 to a 192. thats a huge leap!!! and all because of that i was able to face the world with pride again. untill sec one though. during that year i was the most well behaved in my entire 16 years of my life. and f u really want to know how well behaved i was u can ask my good friend jarrel!!! i was quiet and the whole class was also quiet, whenever u walk past my class u can only hear the teacher talking or the fan blades swirling. that was how well behaved i and my class was. i also had a crush on a girl during that year also her name is michelle. hahah still remeber i was teased by the class that i like a chiobu because im fat!!!
haha thats about all, the rest of my personal data i not going to give out , only when i talk to u one to one then i can leak out. some of the people who already know my past: koktung, bernard patrick, klinton , jiashun,jarrel,shaun, weehian, maybe joash as well? i think this are the few people for sweesheng i have not really talked to him indept about my life story but he already knows most of it. i really feel that im really drifting away from alot of people, im drifting from reality and its becoming more and more like my past already. i really dont wish for history to repeat it self again!!1
thats all for tonight though more coming up .. i hope i dont complain and disturb people so much any more. for those whom i have remarked before , im sorry.... and for sweesheng , i really wish that we could be the close friends we were from February 2009 till April 2009!!! im sorry for all the misdeeds i have ever done and hope to change.
i really need ur help friends, i need encouragement and push. oh and i remeber , for those who think im very arrogant because my prelim pass then i keep saying i fail and never study; i can swear with my blood to tell u , i really am not satisfied with my results, for english my pass mark is 60 and above, chinese is 50 and above. science is 75 and above ( damn it lah prelim got 74/100 not up to standard!!!) and humanities is 65 and above art is 55 and above. and thats all im asking for .
i really didnt study for my prelim i just flip through the book for info and the rest is because of the revisions i made while taking breaks in between classes.
olvls here i come!!! 37 more days till olvls 54 days till school end!!!
now now for the introduction of all times, im not actually writing an essay about my self but about my life journey and how hard or happy it is.
as what i said from my last post, im going to talk about my life from primary 3 onwards. but for today i will only talk about my primary school life, i next post then maybe will talk about my secondary school life.
when i was primary school i had lots of friends, good bad evil vunning all of sorts but there was one whom i always believe in and was very close to, his name is daniel loke , he was a person i could turn to when i had problems. he was good at chinese and during that time my chinese wasnt that bad, i all started to fail after a new teacher came to teach, i started to lose faith in my subject and let it slip backwards. i remember there was one day when i was punish by the teacher to go to another teacher's class and stand thr. that teacher told me off infront of the class!!!! i was so damn embarrased. when i started to fail it was okay at first because my brother tell me i have to fail before i can pass. i learned from that day that defeat is part and parcel of life and u have to live it happily, i wasnt this slim
primary 4, i grew fatter and fatter by day because of all the failures i made, 93 was the heaviest weight i ever had. life was hard being fat and all. from that day ir ealise since i have so much failures why dont i make the failures be my motivation and that was how my attitude of not falling back works.
primary 5, i found my BEST-EST OF BEST FRIEND!!!! my chow, klinton chow i my best friend we went through troubled times and quarrelled and fought. we were like brothers , i knew his parents his parents knew me , i felt like i have another sibling. primary 5 was the best time of my primary school life, i have so many friends and we were all very close to one another.
primary 6 was the hell year of my life , but i enjoyed it because i could finally make it in to the express stream because of her, my strictest teacher mdm sajini, she appeared on the news 3 times !!!! she help me get from a 156 to a 192. thats a huge leap!!! and all because of that i was able to face the world with pride again. untill sec one though. during that year i was the most well behaved in my entire 16 years of my life. and f u really want to know how well behaved i was u can ask my good friend jarrel!!! i was quiet and the whole class was also quiet, whenever u walk past my class u can only hear the teacher talking or the fan blades swirling. that was how well behaved i and my class was. i also had a crush on a girl during that year also her name is michelle. hahah still remeber i was teased by the class that i like a chiobu because im fat!!!
haha thats about all, the rest of my personal data i not going to give out , only when i talk to u one to one then i can leak out. some of the people who already know my past: koktung, bernard patrick, klinton , jiashun,jarrel,shaun, weehian, maybe joash as well? i think this are the few people for sweesheng i have not really talked to him indept about my life story but he already knows most of it. i really feel that im really drifting away from alot of people, im drifting from reality and its becoming more and more like my past already. i really dont wish for history to repeat it self again!!1
thats all for tonight though more coming up .. i hope i dont complain and disturb people so much any more. for those whom i have remarked before , im sorry.... and for sweesheng , i really wish that we could be the close friends we were from February 2009 till April 2009!!! im sorry for all the misdeeds i have ever done and hope to change.
i really need ur help friends, i need encouragement and push. oh and i remeber , for those who think im very arrogant because my prelim pass then i keep saying i fail and never study; i can swear with my blood to tell u , i really am not satisfied with my results, for english my pass mark is 60 and above, chinese is 50 and above. science is 75 and above ( damn it lah prelim got 74/100 not up to standard!!!) and humanities is 65 and above art is 55 and above. and thats all im asking for .
i really didnt study for my prelim i just flip through the book for info and the rest is because of the revisions i made while taking breaks in between classes.
olvls here i come!!! 37 more days till olvls 54 days till school end!!!
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Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
hey all , its me again and yet another day of failure for me , subjects are all so disatrous. my prelim is a disgrace, i really feel that all this is because of some peers who keep keeping me down, the dream is to get good grades but cant seem to be improving leh, how ar?!?!
any one can give me chinese tuition? anyone can help me in geo and ss? really require help desperately, my biology is pathetic just like me, u can say i got very high but in my eyes 65.5 is considered fail because only 70 is pass for me , this is all because i feel that my forte is bio. i have chem tuition but i dont have the stamina to run the long mile on chemistry. maths have the best tuitor but i am still not excelling in it why? can anyone tell me?
but the good thing is that my art coursework is FINALLY COMPLETE!!! celebration shout comeon!!! tu tu tu tu du tu du lu tudu !! now i can finally concentrate on my other subjects!!! wahahahaha so happy but not happy once i remember my pathetic and lousy and incorrigible results.
found out my good friend actually is taking about me behind my back, expected that but why must it be him, i still dont understand u ppl. ne moment u say dont like then the next u are happily chatting with him... nvm that i just feel so fustrated. i think im going through some mental problems of my own can anyone enlighten me ?!
haiz i think my next post will be a true introduction of me from my guai guai boy to the pathetic and useless idiot that i am now, time line will be from pri 3 to sec 4. and if have time i will post pics of my packed room together with my GUNDAMS!!!!
ah gundams are my joy , when ever i look at them it brings joy into my life , but when i look at myself in the mirror i feel like a total reject and failure. haiz some one help me! enlighten me! burn me from solid to liquid ahhh!!!a treat for myself
and finally a treat for myself and those who believe in trust and gundams fan 1 picture tonight!wahahahaha